Alcohol

Beers

Ales

• Spotted Cow: A cloudy, unfiltered Farmhouse ale produced by New Glarus Brewing Company in southern Stempkistan. Only sold in Wisconsin, Spotted Cow has been known to be transported illicitly for the enjoyment of dedicated beer drinkers, much to the dismay of native Wisconsinites.
• Bell's HopSlam: One of the best IPAs in the history of history. From greater Blanxistan. Very difficult to find in other places because everyone that can find it purchases it all en masse.

Lagers

Natural Light: No. Just, No.

Stouts

• Old Rasputin Imperial Stout: dark brown, almost black, producing almost no head. Carries approximately 8.8% alcohol content. Nice, strong flavor, but not very hoppy. Named after a man who was well-nigh impossible to kill. The ideal beer for drinking after defeating a hated rival for the first time in a long time.

Liquors

Bourbon

MORE MORE GIMMEH MORE AN SOME BACON GREASE

Gin

• Bluecoat
• Bombay
• Beefeater
• Tanqueray
• Hendrick's (sadly, not related to Christina Hendricks)
• If you must, New Amsterdam
• Ocean State (for throwing at, or to, Ancient Chinese Secret and others in need of airborne juniper liquor)
• Death's Door, made in Stempkistan

Rum

The Kraken: A delicious, dark spiced rum which can be had cheaply.

Fort Myers: Dark rum. Very useful for concoction of tropical drinks, especially Mai tais

Ripple: The standard since Sanford and Sons. See appropriate Cupdates.

Tequila

No.

Tequilla makes me break people and fight things

Vodka

• Tito's: Sextuple distilled in Austin, TX, it is the only vodka worth drinking.
• Grey Goose. Overrated and overpriced, however, it is good for curing strokes, per Dan McCarney.

Whisky (without the e, boyo)[Also known as scotch]

• Single Malt
  • 1 distillery, 1 grain
• Single Grain
  • 1 distillery, multiple grains
• Blended
  • Multiple distilleries
• ====Islay==== (the best, obviously)

• • Ardbeg
  • Bowmore
  • Bruichladdich
  • Bunnahabhain (Boon-uh-HAV-un)
  • Caol Ila (Kuhl E-luh)
  • Kilchoman
  • Lagavulin
  • Laphroig (la froy guh)
• Island
  • Arran
  • Isle of Jura
  • Tobermory
  • Highland Park
  • Scapa
  • Talisker
• Highland
  • Aberlour
  • Glenmorangie
  • Glenlivet
  • Macallan
• Speyside (Probably the best to start with if you're just trying scotch)
  • Too numerous to list
  • Glenfiddich
• Lowland
  • Auchtentoshen
  • Bladnoch
  • Glenkinchie
• Cambeltown
  • Glen Scotia
  • Glengyle
  • Springbank

Whiskey

• Michael Collins: available in both blended and single malt forms. Product of Ireland, it takes its name from Michael Collins, Irish Minister of Finance and leader of the Irish Republican Army during the Irish War of Independence. Drink to celebrate Irish victories. Special drinks made with this type of whiskey include the 'Republican Bullet': a shot of Michael Collins dropped into a pint of Coors, consumed immediately.

Cocktails

• Colorado Bulldog - Enjoyed by many and related to a Black Russian. Ingredients:
  • Vodka
  • Kahlua
  • Milk
  • Coca-Cola (preferably the good kind with real sugar, or at least Coca-Cola Zero for them what are trying to avoid the DIABEETUS)
    • Mix equal parts Vodka and Kahlua with milk to taste. Pour into glass and mix Coca-Cola to taste.
    • NOTA BENE: Not to be confused with a Georgia Bulldog which will cause botulism if imbibed because a Georgia Bulldog must always be kept on ice.
• Blanxa Colada- Invented by one jblanx; thought to be the only liquid be consumes that does not contain hemoglobin. Ingredients are:
  • La Croix Coconut Sparkling Water
  • White rum (amount is inversely related to how well your team is currently playing)
  • The juice of a lime
  • A splash coconut milk
• Grape Shot - WARNING! HIGHLY DANGEROUS
  • 50% plum slivovitz (product of Hungary or Balkan nations)
  • 50% grape juice
    • Mix, serve cold.
    • NOTA BENE: So called because of its grapish flavor and destructive power on par with rounds of double canister used on mass concentrations of troops during the American Civil War.